I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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