Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
