I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
