And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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