So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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