I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
