Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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