Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
