Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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