I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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