I'm really into asian looking animals
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
