He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
