nut hugger
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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