I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
