i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize