I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
