i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
