i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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