I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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