It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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