sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
