Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
