yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
