I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize