it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He kissed a someone with a penis
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
