Duck Duck Cougar?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
