my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
