I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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