Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
