It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
