If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
