youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's blow job season.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize