So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
