you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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