8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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