Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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