sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
