"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
