got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
