so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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