Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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