Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize