So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
