dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize