just tell him i said nine months
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
