Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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