I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
