And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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