I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
