i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
