Kiss
Puke
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
