Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
