New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
