you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
