I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
