you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
