He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
