well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
