They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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