that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
