It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
