this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
