is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize