well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
