Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
